Quintessence of good communication

Our conscious life always runs along with communication. From the moment we are born, our cry is the first signal to the outer world that we have finally arrived and want to be heard. From that moment, all our development goes on thanks to the knowledge and experiences we get through communication.

Interaction is a bridge for how we exchange ideas, share thoughts and opinions and eventually come up with something new and enjoyable. Step by step we learn more and more how to properly express what we think and feel. At some point, everybody thinks that he has absolutely mastered the way how to talk and therefore how to communicate as well. But is it really the case? Are the abilities to talk and to communicate the same? Apparently, these two things are close to each other but not the same.

The ability to talk is just one of many means how human beings exchange messages and are heard by each other. Communication is a broader and deeper concept which comprises tons of methods and ways how to be heard and understood by others. Within the history of humanity, communication crossed many barriers and obtained such a high interaction level it has nowadays. However, many good lessons from the past are forgotten which would be very useful for modern times. One of them is the art of communication which was a part of the curriculum at many schools around the world. In this class, students were taught how to behave themselves in conversation and to keep it well going. Special attention was dedicated to showing an interest in the daily life of your partner, reacting to his answers, and developing the conversation flow. This part was not merely about asking something like “how are you or how are you doing”. Contrary, it was a real science that discussed questions as separated concepts together with options on how to answer them in a good and engaging manner.

Another important principle the students were taught in this class was about respect for the partner. One of the emphasis was to give time to your confabulator to express himself without interruption. This could sound silly, but nowadays it is really a problem. Many people do not want to listen to their partners in conversation and interrupt them quite much, for instance by saying “Oh I know that, don’t continue”.

You probably would agree these moments are not very much enjoyable and do not develop mutual interest in the conversation.

Shifting this to a more practical dimension, how many times each of us listened to hour-long monologues when we merely said a couple of words. Definitely, sometimes it is a great help for our friends just to be there and to listen to the real issue which worries them! But there is a big difference between this and selfishness some people wrapped up with, what makes them careless about others.

We need to keep in mind that nobody wants to be used or abused, and everybody seeks to get value from the conversation. This value comes in face of fun, knowledge, compassion, etc. It cannot be achieved in one-sided talk. Only in a mutual conversation where parties are really involved it is possible to deduce this value and to become better off. The conversation is not only about taking, but also about giving. These two parts cannot exist separately and always come hand in hand. If any part is missing, the interest in communication disappears as well.

We would like to wrap up all the above-mentioned points in a couple of tips which can help to improve your communication with others:

• Ask questions and show interest in the daily life of your partner in the conversation.

• Try to find the common ground for the conversation which connects you and your partner.

• Do not be selfish and give your partner time to express himself without interrupting him.

• Control the length of your speech. Try to make it not too long, so your confabulator does not lose interest and grasp fully what you are saying.

• Finish your words with engaging remarks like “What is your opinion?” or “What do you think about that?”. It will show your appreciation of talking to the person and the importance of his opinion to you.

• Respect your partner and his time, but also respect yourself. If you see that nothing good is coming from talking to the person and no respect is shown on the other side, find a polite excuse to finish the conversation like “Sorry I totally forgot about the meeting. I need to rush. Take care”.

Try to implement these tips in your daily communication with people around you. Very soon you will feel way more value from the communication and make your relationship with others healthier.

Stay motivated and hungry for success!!!

Yours,

Bonis Rebus